Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling, unpredictable adventures a woman will ever embark on in her lifetime. It’s full of kisses, bedtime stories, hand-holding, and simple joys. It’s also full of messy sneezes, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and doctor’s visits. Ask any mom and she’ll probably say the good times outweigh the bad (depending on how many hours of sleep she got last night). However, that doesn’t mean the hard times don’t take their toll on any good mom’s mind, body, and emotions.
The truth is that a mom’s daily responsibilities can be exhausting at times. It takes a lot of mental and physical energy to be a nurturer, provider, cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, and teacher. Many moms focus so much on caring for others that they have no energy left at the end of the day to care for themselves. That’s why it’s so important for moms to develop and maintain meaningful, supportive friendships. Here are a few thoughtful ways to maintain a healthy balance between motherhood and uplifting friendships.
Be There Through the Ups and Downs
The last thing an overwhelmed mom needs is a fair-weather friend who abandons her when the going gets rough. Commit to being the type of friend others can rely on, especially when things look bleak and hopeless. Be careful not to get so caught up in helping others all the time that you neglect your own needs, though. You don’t have to steamroll over your own life to support another mom in need. Try to maintain a healthy balance between your friends and your motherly responsibilities at home.
There are many different ways to be there through a friend’s ups and downs, so feel free to choose whatever option resonates most with you. When you make your daily to-do list, think of a mom in your life who might really need your help and support that day. Then take a few minutes out of your day to call, text, or visit that person and find out how they’re doing. If you have a mom friend who’s ill, send her get well gifts and offer to babysit or run errands for her while she recovers. Moms who have reliable friends tend to feel much less alone when going through hard life stages.
Offer Consistent Encouragement
Though they don’t often like to admit it, moms often wonder if they’re doing the “right” things when it comes to raising their kids. They may struggle with a sick baby, a willful toddler, or a depressed teen and start to question their parenting methods. They may feel enormous guilt over past parenting decisions and worry that they’ve caused irreparable harm to their parent-child relationship. Unfortunately, new moms don’t get a “guide to parenthood” after giving birth, so they have to figure things out as they go. Most do a wonderful job but still end up feeling pummeled by self-doubt and regret at times.
You can help a mom friend in your life feel better about herself by consistently encouraging and validating her. Genuinely praise her parenting wins and comfort her through discouraging times to counteract her self-uncertainties. If you see a mom with a screaming toddler at the grocery store, smile and tell her that she’s doing a great job. Encourage her by letting her know this stage doesn’t last forever and that her child will soon grow out of it. This is a much more constructive, uplifting approach than staring judgmentally or not-so-subtly plugging your ears as you pass by.
Find Humor in the Challenges
When you’re approaching burnout in motherhood, you probably rarely feel like laughing or even smiling. However, laughter may actually be the best medicine in high-stress situations. It has a variety of positive health benefits, including stress reduction and endorphin release. Laughing even when you don’t feel like it can reduce cortisol and promote a sense of overall well-being. It can also promote a positive mindset, making it easier to face the challenges of motherhood with greater energy and resolve.
The next time one of your mom friends feels stressed, encourage her to laugh more (even if she doesn’t feel like it at first). Invite her to go with you to a live comedy act in your area or give her a funny book to enjoy at her convenience. Reminisce about funny memories or inside jokes that make you both belly laugh and relive happier times. You could also spend a girl’s night indoors watching comedy movies or television shows that offer a much-needed humor boost. Laughing together can improve your mood and make your worries melt away while simultaneously strengthening your friendship.
Conclusion
Motherhood can be a lot to handle at times, which is why so many moms frequently feel frazzled, stressed, and exhausted. If you know any moms who consistently put their own needs on the back burner, it’s time to step in and offer support. When mothers have a good support system and plenty of friends to rely on, life feels much more enjoyable and less overwhelming. Try these simple, thoughtful strategies to support other moms in your life and help them balance their motherhood with invaluable friendship.
