Finding Connection in the Chaos of Motherhood
Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling experiences, but it can also be one of the most isolating. Between sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, toddler tantrums, and managing life with multiple kids, it often feels like there’s no time left for ourselves, let alone for building and maintaining friendships. Yet, mom friendships are one of the most essential lifelines in the whirlwind of motherhood—they remind us that we aren’t alone, that the struggles we face are shared, and that a little laughter can go a long way in lightening the load.
I am a mom of three all five and under and life is crazy! Trying to fit in everything between preschool, afternoon kindergarten and keeping the family running is exhausting. But, finding other moms who are going through the same stages as you gives me a much needed feeling of connection. Because let’s be honest the guys don’t always get it, you need the mom friend.
Why Mom Friendships Matter
Motherhood is filled with so many unique joys and challenges that it’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived it. If you had that friend who hasn’t yet had kids and all of sudden you struggle to find mutual topics.
Having friends who are also moms means having someone who understands the emotional rollercoaster of parenting, who gets why you might cry over spilled milk (literally!), and who knows exactly how much effort it takes to get the kids out of the house and to the playpark.
These friendships matter because they provide support in a way that others can’t. Moms can offer advice on everything from sleep training to school choices, and more importantly, they can provide a listening ear when you just need to vent about your day and you know they understand what you mean.
However, finding time to nurture these friendships can feel impossible when you’re tired and want nothing more than to nap with your child!
The Challenge of Finding Time
When you have a baby, a toddler, or multiple kids at home, it’s easy to feel like every minute of your day is consumed by their needs. Between naps, feedings, school pick-ups, and everything else on your to-do list, the thought of squeezing in time for friends seems unrealistic. Often, I find myself torn between needing a break from the daily grind and guilty for wanting some me time alone.
But the truth is, it’s so important to carve out time for those connections. Even though our kids are our world, we can’t pour from an empty cup. And sometimes, a conversation with another mom who “gets it” can fill you up in ways you didn’t even realize you needed. We need that camaraderie.
How to Find Time for Mom Friendships
- Combine Playdates with Friend Dates
One of the easiest ways to maintain mom friendships is to involve the kids. Hosting or attending playdates lets your kids burn off energy while you get a chance to talk with another adult. Even if the conversation is interrupted by juice spills or toy disputes, those snippets of connection add up. The bonus? Your kids are making friends too! - Find Mom Groups or Classes
Sometimes, all it takes is finding a shared activity. Joining a local mom group, attending baby-and-me classes, or even attending a storytime at the library can provide the perfect opportunity to meet other moms in similar life stages. You’re already out with your kids, so why not connect with other moms while you’re at it? They can lead to long lasting friendships sometimes or just a familiar face to chat with. - Walk and Talk
If your kids are stroller-bound or you have toddlers that need to burn off energy, consider meeting up with a mom friend for a walk. Walking in the park with strollers or letting your kids run around while you catch up is a great way to fit in social time while keeping the little ones entertained.
Mom Tip: Try to make friends with moms in your neighborhood. This will make it easier to meet up for a walk and let the kids play outside. Friends that live far away are harder to see on a regular basis.
- Schedule After-Bedtime Hangouts
Once the kids are asleep, the temptation to collapse into bed is real. But sometimes, scheduling an evening coffee, a glass of wine, or even a quick video chat with a mom friend can be just what you need to recharge. It’s a time to talk uninterrupted (hopefully!) and reconnect in a meaningful way. - Lean on Technology
When in-person meetups aren’t possible, texting, messaging, or even scheduling FaceTime calls can keep your friendships strong. Even a quick “How are you?” text to another mom can go a long way in maintaining your connection, especially on those days when it’s hard to get out of the house. Vent when you need to to other moms you know will get it.
Shared Activities Moms Can Enjoy Together
- Coffee or Brunch Dates (with or without kids): Whether you bring the little ones along or arrange for some “me time,” sitting down with a friend over a warm cup of coffee is a great way to catch up. Or my favorite is a playpark lunch. The kids play on the playground and you can sit and enjoy some “girl chat”.
- Workout Buddies: If you’re into fitness, invite a mom friend to join a yoga class, run or play tennis. It’s an easy way to stay healthy and connected.
- Craft Nights: If you enjoy being creative, host a craft night after the kids are in bed. You can work on simple projects together while catching up.
- Mom’s Night Out: Sometimes, you just need a break from the kids altogether. Plan an occasional night out with your mom friends for dinner, a movie, or even a spa night. Having that time to be yourself without the constant watch of little eyes is refreshing. Even if it’s only once or twice a year those nights out will be something to look forward to.
- Book Club: Book club is a great way to bring moms together. It gives the moms something to talk about other than the children when you just need a break from mom talk.
Mom Tip: Start a neighborhood book club, invite all the moms you know. I did this and it was a great way to get to know the neighborhood and build connections.
Why It’s Worth It
Yes, it’s hard to find time for friends when your days revolve around your kids, but those moments of connection are so worth the effort. Mom friendships remind us that we are not alone in this journey. They provide laughter when we need it, advice when we’re lost, and a shoulder to lean on when motherhood feels overwhelming.
So, take that time. Text the friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with, set up the playdate, or plan that wine after bedtime. These connections are not just a luxury—they’re a necessity for our emotional well-being and our ability to be the best moms we can be.
Author Bio:
I am a mom of three that loves to spend time outdoors adventuring with my family. I created my website, allaboutmomma.com, to encourage other moms to embark on more adventures with their children and embrace more outdoor time together. I received my MBA at Temple which inspired me to start my website. I focus on everything outdoor for kids from hiking, biking or playing in the backyard. My other focus is moms and nature.
