When most people hear the phrase common law marriage, they often assume it means two people who have lived together for a long time are automatically considered married. That’s not exactly true, and in fact, that misunderstanding is one of the biggest reasons people get confused about what common law marriage actually is.
When it comes to New Jersey, things get interesting. As one of the most densely populated states in the country, New Jersey is home to many long-term, cohabiting couples, especially in urban and suburban areas. But despite modern relationship trends, the state maintains a clear legal stance on marriage.
New Jersey does not recognize common law marriages. So, if you’re living with someone in New Jersey and thinking your relationship might automatically count as marriage just because you’ve been together for years, it doesn’t work like that there.
But if you were common-law married in another state where it’s legal, and then you move to New Jersey, your common-law marriage in New Jersey will still be recognized. It’s kind of like how your driver’s license works across state lines. Just because a state doesn’t issue them anymore doesn’t mean it won’t recognize one from a state that does.
What Makes a Common Law Marriage Legal?
This is where people often get tripped up. Just living together, even for 10 or 20 years, doesn’t automatically mean you’re common-law married. To be considered legally married under common law, you have to meet some very specific requirements, and they can vary by state. But here’s what usually needs to happen.
First, you need to live together. That part’s obvious. Second, both people must intend to be married. That means you both consider yourselves husband and wife (or spouses), not just roommates or dating partners. And you need to act like you’re married in public. That means telling your friends and family you’re married, using each other’s last names, maybe even sharing a bank account or putting each other down as beneficiaries on life insurance policies.
If you don’t do these things, if, for example, you never told anyone you were married, never combined finances, and never used each other’s last names, then it’s really hard to prove you were in a common law marriage, even if you lived together for years.
Also, both people must be legally allowed to get married in the first place. That means you can’t already be married to someone else, you both need to be adults (usually at least 18), and you need to be of sound mind.
Furthermore, even if you didn’t have the legal right to marry when you first moved in together, maybe one of you was still married to someone else, but later gained that right, you can still end up in a valid common law marriage. But the clock doesn’t start ticking until you both are legally free to marry.
Does Every State Recognize Common Law Marriage?
No, not at all. Only a handful of states still allow you to enter into a new common law marriage. These include Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire (but only for inheritance), Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah (under some circumstances), and the District of Columbia.
Some other states, like Pennsylvania or Ohio, only recognize common law marriages that began before a certain date.
So, if you live in one of those states and you meet the requirements, you might be legally married without ever having a wedding or getting a marriage license. But in other states, like New Jersey, even if you do all the same things, you won’t be considered married, unless, again, you already had a valid common law marriage in a different state.
What About Same-Sex Couples?
Same-sex couples can be in a common-law marriage, too. The law doesn’t restrict it by gender. So as long as the couple meets the other requirements, intending to be married, living together, and presenting themselves as married, they can be recognized just like opposite-sex couples.
How Can You Prove a Common Law Marriage Exists?
Sometimes, you have to prove that you’re common-law married, especially if one partner dies or if the relationship ends and someone wants to claim property, custody, or spousal support. So, what would a court look at?
- Did you ever apply for a marriage license or certificate?
- Do you refer to each other as spouses?
- Do you live together and share household responsibilities?
- Do you have children together?
- Have you signed legal documents together, like buying a house or opening a joint bank account?
- Have you filed joint tax returns?
- Are you listed on each other’s insurance policies?
Even just one or two of these might not be enough, but the more of them that apply to you, the stronger your case will be.
