For some, the idea of their parents moving into a care home as they get older is not something that they want to contemplate. For others, the cost is an issue, and it’s just not something that is possible. It might be that, as an alternative, you choose to have your older parents move in with you. This can be a wonderful thing in many ways, but there is no denying it can also be stressful and emotionally difficult, especially if you also have children to take care of in the same house at the same time.
It’s crucial to make sure you are completely aware of what you are doing and that everyone is going to be happy with the situation and new living circumstances before they take place. Read on to find out what you should consider before you start the process.
Do You Have Enough Space?
The very first thing you’re going to need to consider before having elderly parents move in with you is whether or not you have enough space. You might think you do, but is one spare bedroom really going to be enough? It will depend on how close you are with your parents and how happy they – and you – are to share the other spaces within the house. If they would prefer some additional space for themselves, perhaps so they can feel independent, then can this be done?
There should be enough space to give everyone some privacy. Even if your children are small now, if you intend to have your parent or parents living with you permanently, those small children will require their own private areas as they get older. How will this be achieved? Will you have to move house? Will you build an extension? This will all need to be considered.
What is Your Relationship Like?
When you first think about having your older parents move in with you, you might automatically think yes. After all, they took care of you when you were younger, and now it’s time for you to repay the favor.
Yet, there could be issues. Is your relationship good enough to withstand living together again, especially if it’s been many years since that last happened? It might be that you have a good relationship now, but what about when you were younger? Were they easy to live with? Were you? There will often be a powerplay taking place, at least initially, when different generations move in together, and this can be difficult to deal with, especially if you are taking care of their physical needs such as adding SimplyThick to their liquidized food, helping them go to the bathroom, or washing them.
What Do the Rest of Your Family Think?
If you live with others, then the decision as to whether or not to have your senior parent or parents move in with you is not yours alone. A spouse or partner will certainly need to have a say in the decision as it is their house too, and they may not feel comfortable with the idea.
Children should also be considered. They will have spent their entire lives living with you and doing things in a certain way. Adding another person or an older couple to that living arrangement can be wonderful, but it can also be difficult or even upsetting as routines are abandoned, and confusing changes take place.
Make sure you go through the pros and cons with everyone in the household before any final decisions are made.